To GET something you've never had, you have to DO something you've never done

March 7, 2018

Some of my greatest lessons have come from the most unconventional places.  This one is no different.  I was watching The Bachelor last night (insert side eye, eye roll, gasp, whatever…stop judging), and for those that haven’t heard the tea, the bachelor (Arie) first proposed to one girl, then changed his mind weeks later and proposed to the runner up.  After getting over the shock and digging deeper, we learned that Arie chose to propose to Becca (first proposal), because she showed unwavering confidence in their relationship and was a safe bet, while Lauren (runner up and second proposal) showed some doubt at one point that scared Arie into settling for the “sure deal”. 

Safe doesn’t get you results.  Regardless of your beliefs, we can all agree that we have ONE life to live that we KNOW of, so why are we playing safe?  Playing safe doesn’t yield results.  Do you get a promotion at work for being safe?  You won’t get a promotion in life by playing safe either.  I’ll share with you the “unsafe” things I did to get my life in the shape I wanted it:

  • Waking up at 5 am every weekday to workout has contributed to me being the smallest size I have been since middle school – of course I consciously eat healthy, pre-prepared meals in addition

  • Leaving my 12 year career as a paralegal and diving head first into project management has led me to the most amazing career that I enjoy on a daily basis – of course I didn’t just walk into a job, but instead I took a risk and took a step back in my career at a large corporation while obtaining my Master’s degree, and talked to anyone who would listen, scheduled mentoring sessions, did out-of-the-box marketing to get noticed to where when a position opened, they came to me about applying.  It was my job to lose, and I didn’t lose it! 

  • My marriage has never been and will probably never be perfect.  That’s not what I’m looking for.  If marriage is perfect and boring, then sex is probably perfect and boring, and a’int nobody got time for that.   What I do want in a marriage is exactly what my wife and I have designed, which is loyalty, support, partnership and most importantly, FUN!  We tailor made a marriage that is perfect for us where no request is off-limits to be asked.

  • Surprisingly, I used to be pretty timid and unsure of myself in public and shy to new people (this had a lot to do with me not loving myself, especially when I had weight issues), so I struggled with making and maintaining friendships.  Since opening up and choosing to be unapologetically me, I have been so blessed to have some of the best friends imaginable.  One of my claims to fame is that I am a loyal and dedicated friend.  If you call, I’m there.  If you don’t call, I’m calling you.  I carry you and your heart in my spirit even when we aren’t around each other.

  • I have always been pretty strict about money, but I also got comfortable and was loosely spending like I had Oprah money.  Um – no hunty!  I started a budget where you strictly allot a place for every single dollar, and I find that I have a much fuller life and even fuller savings account.  I say “no” sometimes.  I look for inexpensive and free things to do.  I coupon.  I get rebates.  Life is about living and experiences, and I get to do both now!

I am sharing my changes in hopes you see some of you in me and also get the courage to challenge yourself to creating the life you deserve!  Life is truly short.  You can get healthy.  You don’t have to do it alone.  You can’t rely on thinking you eat healthy and wondering why you don’t lose weight.  You can’t just walk around the block and wonder why your stomach doesn’t look smaller in the morning.  Do something different.  You can get the career you want, but you have to WORK.  You have to network.  You have to put yourself out there.  You have to study the needs of that job and make your qualities fit that or work to get the qualities the job is asking for.  Do something different. You can have a great relationship IF you are willing to challenge the status quo.  I’m a married woman with kids, and I need excitement.  Do not make your kids your world, or you will be in the world alone with those kids and no partner.  Our kids consistently (since 6 months old) have gone to bed at 7pm while my wife and I have played cards, games, cooked dinner, went in the backyard (with the baby monitor) etc.  It’s a MUST!  Do something different.   Need friends?  You need to be a friend first.  If you aren’t a friend, then you won’t be deserving of friends.  Do something different.   Need money?  Stop spending!  Do something different.  Live LOYT!

Share on Facebook
Please reload

Featured Posts

Black girls cut, too - Exploring the linkage between self-harm and generational pain in the African-American community

August 17, 2017

1/1
Please reload

Recent Posts

June 30, 2019

August 28, 2018

Please reload

Copyright © 2017 LOYT. All Rights Reserved.

The opinions expressed on this site are those of the authors and not any of the organizations mentioned on this site or in connection with LOYT. Stacey Stevenson and Cheralyn Stevenson do not claim to have legally recognized qualifications or authority to be therapists.  LOYT, Stacey and Cheralyn only offer advice as an act in a mentoring and guidance capacity.  The advice LOYT, Stacey and Cheralyn provide is meant for people in a normal mental and physical state of mind and not designed to treat or cure any illness.  LOYT, Stacey and Cheralyn’s advice is offered in good faith and should not be used as a substitute for the professional advice of medical doctors, psychiatrists or clinical psychologists.  LOYT, Stacey and Cheralyn do not accept any liability or responsibility for any loss or damage of any kind which may occur as a result of advice and guidance.  The use of advice or guidance provided by LOYT, Stacey and Cheralyn, and the interpretation of what is seen and heard, is your responsibility alone.  In all instances, it is your responsibility to seek appropriate professional treatment for any mental or physical illnesses.